Mood:Mellow
Song of Choice: "Last Resort" by Papa Roach
Topic: Icy Princess
Days That Have Passed Since I sent Eric's Letter: 12 Weeks and 4 days

Like the Layout? New for May the Prisoner in my own life layout...yeah you know you've all felt that way. No I'm not sad or in a bad mood just a little...hmmm...I don't know...floating or as someone once said--Lost.

I was talking with a friend of mine yesterday night and he asked me about myself a little. I told him I use to be a good person now I wasn't so sure. He asked why I told him I was mean and cold and he said he knew better than to believe this.

So here is an example of my frigidness...I wrote it over break to the people here. The Kim the people of Columbus know is not the same Kim of Hinnesville. Columbus Kim is warm and smily but here she is not unless she is talking with someone close to her. But this is a note I wrote to all the people I have close to me here in Hinnesville.

At Least For Today Right?

Hey this is a copy of a letter written to several people…an essay if you will something that most people won’t understand. You know me don’t you? As a friend, as a classmate, as the quiet melancholy girl that sits inside her own head while the rest of the world plays its games…but I know you too. You’ve told me your stories, not all mind you, but many none the less. Why? I couldn’t begin to know—maybe because you saw a little bit of me in you or something you lost once upon a time. Most of your stories are sad…I’m sorry if I could rewrite them I would and make them happy but I’m only me, I can’t. I didn’t realize how much hurt there was centered in one place until today.
I have this bad habit of wearing the same jeans more then once at a given time before doing wash. You guys make think it’s weird but hell I only have 4 pairs of jeans that aren’t too short…another reason I wear boots makes my pants look longer then they are spares people making fun of me. Anyway today I decided to do wash and well doing that requires me to empty out my pockets. To say the least I didn’t realize how much mail I got in a week. So I sat down outside (my washing machine is right next to my door so outside and my stools are all of 5 steps away) and reread what everyone had wrote me. In the fleeting sun the brightness and shadows set the perfect mood to reflect on all of your stories…all of your trials and tribulations…all your hopes and dreams…all your ups and downs.
The words flowed from the paper to my memory once more making me remember things that had taken a back seat to what was going on at the present. Talks sitting side by side in front of computer screens, phone calls, pleads, Instant Messages, hour-long car rides to Savannah, talks in tears at bus stops, so much pain. Each one of you has played the sad song of your heart to me and I’ve listened and taken pieces of it to add to my own. I realized that everyone is just like me more or less.
Each of you has had your rough time…be it family problems, bad relationships, or just bad circumstance you’ve all seen the world through the dirty glass. But why is it that all of you have somehow told me? Why me the outsider? The loner? What makes me deserve this honor filled injury? What makes me worthy to hear your story but no one else? You all know each other some since you were kids…but I doubt that any of you know the story of the other. It’s odd hearing someone tell you about their hard times and realizing that they are much like yours hearing the same words only different names and places…what’s even more odd is when you hear it more than once or twice.
This isn’t a complaint not by a long shot…I don’t complain often but when I do you’ll know it. This is a reminder…that hey you aren’t alone in your angst. That you’re not the only person that’s been put down, thrown out, cut deep by someone you loved, trusted someone you shouldn’t have, been betrayed, been hurt. You aren’t on your own you know? I’m here and I can tell you straight up about 5 other people you see everyday are too. You don’t have to know them…you don’t even have to talk to them…just draw strength in the fact that day in day out they keep showing up…draw strength from the fact that I show up too. Don’t think you’re the only one that fakes a smile…cause you’re not. But don’t think you’re the only one that draws anything out of whatever it is you and me have either.
Knowing who I’m writing to…I can say that I can’t call you my friends…that term is cheap…cheerleaders use it then stab each other in the back…we’re not friends at all. We’re something more…maybe we all knew each other once upon a time I couldn’t say but…we’re close. Not so close that I couldn’t up and leave you at the drop of a hat but that’s the way any good friendship is I guess I’m here when you need me but don’t plan for me to be here tomorrow. I know that may sound unfair to some of you but hey that’s the way I work. I’m here now guys you never know when the tomorrow will come when I don’t show up anymore. But I can say this…if tomorrow was that fluke fated tomorrow where I didn’t come back…it would hurt because even though most of you are held at arms length…that’s too close already. So yes…
You’re not alone…you got me…for now…for the present…someone to listen and care and help if I can and if I can’t…hell then at least I want to help…I just can’t you know…beyond that I can’t guarantee anything…but then you guys can’t either right? Not that I expect you to I don’t expect anything from anyone except the truth—which is what I give you now. So yeah keep this in your wallet…your purse…frame it for all I care just keep it close for when you need it okay? For those days when you gotta fake that smile when you’re hurt on the inside. For those days you just push people away…for those days when you wish it would all just stop…remember you aren’t alone in your angst…and you got me…at least for today right?
Kim

Mood:Mellow
Song of Choice: "Julia" from Cowboy Bebop
Topic: And the Cutie in the Picture is...
Days That Have Passed Since I sent Eric's Letter: 12 Weeks and 2 days

Hey boys and girls! Well guess what Peter won the ball game on this one even though it was Geimer who guessed right first he didn’t leave his name ( he never does) so he loses :P There’s a name place for a reason! Now anyway yes this is our very own Jun Trillo as a child doing something. ISN’T HE SO CUTE!! Don’t ya just want to squeeze him? Hehehe I’d better stop there or Junior will call me and demand I take this off my site because he’ll die of embarrassment. Lol Now he has a few pictures of me as a kid (3 years old) I deleted them so I can’t post them but if you ask I’m sure he’ll post them in all there silly glory I was a cute kid…God only knows what happened along the way.

Now as for Geimer I have a few kid pictures of him too if anyone is interested J Peter I only saw one and that’s one with him and Josh…and a bear. I kid you not to me Peter use to look JUST like Young Kira from Angel Sanctuary—no joke! Oh and I use to have a picture of Peter’s Dad when Nick was a baby. Now Peter before you ask I got them from Josh so don’t think too hard on it.

Yupe Yupe..well and now you know! Everyone goes back to school tomorrow have fun!

Mood:Mellow
Song of Choice: "See ya Space Cowboy" from Cowboy Bebop
Topic: End of break
Days That Have Passed Since I sent Eric's Letter: 12 Weeks and 1 days

Heheh no one has guessed the little boy in the picture but no it's not Ben friends! I'll give you a hint it's someone you Columbus people see every single day! Now think...hmmm...Latino looking...hmmm....and he's about 17 years old come on guys who could it be? I'm thinking of a layout change but I don't know what of...Suggestions? Maybe or does someone that can Draw have something they want to say here use this? I really don't know...I may go Clover but hmm I don't know. Suggestions?

Thank God break is over...I need to see people outside of my family man...breaks can be a trial!

Mood:Prelude to Baking
Song of Choice: "See ya Space Cowboy" from Cowboy Bebop
Topic: Guess who and guess what!
Days That Have Passed Since I sent Eric's Letter: 11 Weeks and 6 days

Lol Morning everyone! Yes all of you are probably at school but my silly self is still on break and i have two things for you number one


Can you guess who this little cutie is? Look!! isn't he adorable okay anyway hit the comment box with you guesses and if you know for sure don't bother to play :) And also while you're down there talk about how cute he is ok!?

Now for the guss what. I started yet another new manga...hahaha...oh lord I need professional help...has anyone elses anime adiction started to take over their room? I mean seriously I got Manga all over and anime and bootlegged anime soundtracks a few posters one or two scrolls I mean...does anyone think we should start a support group? lol

Hi my name is Kim and I'm an anime adict ::in unision:: Hi Kim! oh lord...Well in anycase the new manga is called Mars I think Lum or Cat may have it or they were interested in it I think they were talking about it when we went to the mall like a year ago. Anyway I've been meaning to get it but well X and Fushigi Yuugi kinda took president. Now here come the tears ::Tears:: I've got all of X and FY that are in English(well I don't have 2 and 3 of FY but that's a different story) so what do you do when you walk into Walden and your mom goes go get a manga. I could get the next Ranma...but I've decied to kinda quel on that one because...well there's more then 20 of them and haha they're all in English so there's no dry spell for me to kinda refinance you know. With X and FY I got like a good 3 months to rake together the $16 to get the next one not with Ranma. Well not to say that Mars isn't almost done but you can't compare 15 books at $10 to 20 books at $16 you know what I mean? Call it being cheap call it being a miser I just know that me being the highly dependant anime child I don't like to go without for long and well...it's easier to earn/ask for 10 then 20 (besides lol I might be able to get 2 at once if I work really really hard!!) so yes moving on

What's Mars about?...hmm even I'm not sure to explain but I sat down and read it 4 times yesterday...I didn't do that with Clover or Chobits. I think it's because every character even the ones you aren't suppose to like I can relate to I can go man I've acted or act that way and I think any anime that you can relate to is a good one. Because well lets face it...as much as I love FY I can't relate too much to Miyaka with her boyfriend for life Tamahome. XI can relate to-angst lose confusion that's a yes. The main people are Kira(a female art student quiet scared of boys timid kinda "weird") and Rei (wild boy that live on his own you know problems with authority but gorgeous beyond reason) and how they are...draw together for some unexplained reason really. Beyond that words don't do the book justice or at least not mine. It's like trying to explain the greatness of Angel Sanctuary to someone that just has no clue you can't do it. You gotta go to the DVD to capture it's OMG-ness.

But yes I think I'm the only one outta the cluster that will like it but man hey I LIKE IT:) I think you could...kinda compare it to Kare Kano...but it would be a stretch you know. Anyway I gtg get changed so I can get Dan we're backing cherrie pouch cookies today and well lol I don't bake often and I don't think he does either so this should be a funny story to tell later.

(PS Lisette they brought the 100% Manga Magic Knight Rayearth 2 set to Walden. you know the next few that you wanted...so yeah you go get that...and pick up Mars 2 for me please :) PLEASE!! I'll clean your car!! I'll wash it too if you get me 2 and3!!)

Mood: Sugar High
Song of Choice: "YOU" by Ayumi Hamasaki (aggressive Euro Mix)
Topic: Lum and Cat Hero Worship!!
Days That Have Passed Since I sent Eric's Letter: 11 Weeks and 4 days

Hey!!! Where have I been you may ask!! Lol no where really I’ve had my share of fun this break but nothing too spectacular most of it has been spent hunched over this computer working on my term paper (that’s due Monday) With the Evanescence CD blaring. Yupe Yupe hard working Kim! You know I was going to send a copy of this CD over for Lum and Cat because well I thought it would be something they might enjoy and then I found out they already had it ::tears:: I can’t get you guys anything!!



Oh by the way my two lovely Columbus ladies you look gorgeous in your anit-prom photos!! I want to be stylish like you guys! Cat has that great hair and Lum has that classy wardrobe I wanna be cool like you guys. For you Hinnesville people who don’t know of Lauren and Catherine they are my female heros. :: nodds:: Oh yes I look up to them. I wish they had been born a few months earlier that way they could be on our grade level but sadly they are Sophomores. BUT HEY!! Don’t you dare write them off just because of that!! They are cooler then almost anyone I know. They are the closest people to my age out of any cluster of friends. But yes they are really Peter’s girls but I try to impress them. Hehe they’re so cool! Let me tell you about them. Well the little I know!

Catherine is the Musician Muse. She sings, she plays guitar and she is super dupper nice! I mean she smiled at me before she even knew me—how cool is that!? She has short hair now that flips out so she kinda looks like Selphie from FF8 when I first met her I think it was in a bob cut. I like her hair now it suits her friendly ways.

Lum is the writer, the poet, the one with the bad back. Hehe she does it makes me frustrated because if she had a comfy-er computer chair she wouldn’t have that problem…of course Dyne dying and stuff doesn’t help either. She was my idol sophomore year. I thought she was so cool when I first saw her I was lucky though she was in one of my classes. Sadly when I went to talk to her Nori stole her away!!! Bad Nori child! No lol I took that as a sigh of look be in awe but don’t talk to her. But eventually I did and she was even more cool than I originally thought ^-^ I think she’s the one that got me using the word spiffy….I think.

I know that isn’t a lot of info…hmm they draw too CG as well. They are the ones that got me into Johnny the Homicidal Maniac and with Peter into Invader Zim. All three (Peter Lum and Cat) where born in November so they’re all Sagittariuses. They’re all spiffy I like them muchly ^-^ I have good role models. I think that they are the few people that I feel comfortable around where I can be genuine and take off my guard. They are special to me. So few people are. Well them and the Trillo and perhaps the Hedgehog…I’d say maybe 8 people in the course of almost 17 years. That’s pathetic but hey if you’re not in my inner circle then oh well right Peter?

Mood: Confused
Song of Choice: "Requim" from FF Tactics
Topic: Song of Clover
Days That Have Passed Since I sent Eric's Letter: 10 Weeks and 6 days
Days Until Spring Break: 1
Quote of the Day:"I only want your happiness But I cannot be yours"
Another CLAMP Manga has crossed my Path...I love their work those ladies really are my heros. Everything they write is so complex so thought out so planned and yet again my head throbs with one of their puzzels. I want to get all of this series it's so...complex. I got this one from the Library but I must make it mine...I plan to go back for Mars tomorrow if that is possible. But here's a song that Sue sings through the book...I'm not sure what it means so I'm putting it here for later--Plus I think you guys will like it and I think you can see where it would strike a chord with me that's why I like the series so much. I want to get every CLAMP published work one day :) Even Card Captor Sakura so my collection will be FLAWLESS but anyway here is the song


~ Clover ~

I wish happiness
I seek happiness

To find happiness with you
to be your happiness

so please
take me
someplace far away
somewhere far from here
take me away

An unbreakable spell
A never-ending kiss
An endless dream
Eternal happiness
Take me away
Make me happy


The birds sing a song
In a foreign tongue
In a place where wings
Are not enough

a place not reachable alone

So please
Tale me
Somewhere far from here

Soaked feathers,
Fingers locked,
The warmth of skin
Two hearts

take me
I wish for happiness

I don’t want your past
I seek your present
Retrace my broken future

please take me there

I wish for happiness

Mood: Tired
Song of Choice: "Tourniquet" by Evanescence
Topic: Selfish
Days That Have Passed Since I sent Eric's Letter: 10 Weeks and 5 days
Days Until Spring Break: 2

Man I'm so so tired! God I mean I've been catering to other people for the last two weeks! I want me time. I mean I love helping people but man can I get a minute for ME!! Man I'm tired...I just want to say screw all of you people I'm spending the day with Daniel...watch a few movies...cuddle on the couch...I mean God is that so much to ask? I mean...man I'm not angry or anything just kinda like...I love you guys too but come on Kim needs to focus on her own life crises every once in a while. I mean shoot. Look Lisette Jonnell listen to me I love you both and making sure everything is okay is my job and I accept that but I need time for me too I mean today I cried for like 20 minutes in 3rd block the reason isn't important but I think it's a clear sign that I need to nurse my own wounds. Don't offer to help because I won't let you I fly alone on this like this one I hate having people help me...I can handel things on my own.

Anyway that said I think I'm going to rest...so tired..

"Tourniquet"

i tried to kill the pain
but only brought more
i lay dying
and i'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
i'm dying praying bleeding and screaming
am i too lost to be saved
am i too lost?

my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation

do you remember me
lost for so long
will you be on the other side
or will you forget me
i'm dying praying bleeding and screaming
am i too lost to be saved
am i too lost?

my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation

my wounds cry for the grave
my soul cries for deliverance
will i be denied Christ
tourniquet
my suicide

Mood: Torn
Song of Choice: "Imaginary" by Evanescence
Topic: Just trying to keep sane...
Days That Have Passed Since I sent Eric's Letter: 10 Weeks and 4 days
Days Until Spring Break: 3

This is one of my favorite bands...and this one is probalby my favorite song...this one and the very last song on my CD...I will share it with you...
"Imaginary"

i linger in the doorway
of alarm clock screaming monsters calling my name
let me stay
where the wind will whisper to me
where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story

in my field of paper flowers
and candy clouds of lullaby
i lie inside myself for hours
and watch my purple sky fly over me

don't say i'm out of touch
with this rampant chaos - your reality
i know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge
the nightmare i built my own world to escape

in my field of paper flowers
and candy clouds of lullaby
i lie inside myself for hours
and watch my purple sky fly over me

swallowed up in the sound of my screaming
cannot cease for the fear of silent nights
oh how i long for the deep sleep dreaming
the goddess of imaginary light

Mood: Wanting Coffee
Song of Choice: "The Dream is over" by Juliana Theory
Topic: Uninspired
Days That Have Passed Since I sent Eric's Letter: 10 Weeks and 1days
Days Until Spring Break: 7

::Enter Kim dressed in all black. Plops down in one of the many pews of the Sanctuary. The usually brightly lit and busy Sanctuary is dark and quiet...this is not the physical manifestation of the virtual sanctuary...but her inner Sanctuary her mind the place were her decisions and opinons are formed. This place is not sad and lonely nor gloomy...simply solitary and dim...to better focus on the many problems at hand Looks at the high walls and vaulted ceiling eyes falling oh the crucified Savior. 'I know how you feel..." She thinks or maybe he tells her. She Gets up and lights candels and sighs ::
There are Many Graveyards to be found in seduction. But you may need to sacrafice your obtenebrated exsistance to find them..." W.H. Ranier This is so...sounds a lot like soemthing I said to Lisette at Lunch today...lol funny how parrell lines always meet...Today someone will be sacraficed for you...but what can you say of tomorrow? Who is to say? Who will fight and who will run? Who will take the spoils...but not stay to tend to what the have taken? Why is it that people don't learn...why is it that people are the way they are...

Man I'm tired...this week has been hard on me. Keeping everyone emotionally stable is rough...I mean I don't mind I'd much rather help someone else with tehre problems than actually take care of my own. Jonnell and Lisette have fallen on rough times and I've been doing my best for them...but I'm only one person you know.

God...I hate Will so so much...what a jerk if I had things my way I would so have a deul with him. I'd win in an instant. By the grace of God I might slay him in the process and save a whole lot of indecision and heartache for the others.He is a complication an obstical less than a man weak. I dispise him and would eliminate him if given the chance...

Many times I feel totally inadaquet like I can't do anything and I hate that feeling. I hate thinking that I can't solve a problem I hate it. I want to make everyone happy I want to defeat all sadness and knowing I can't win makes me angry.

I don't know I know that's totally unrealistic and childish and stupid but it doesn't matter I still feel that way. I think the only reason that I've been able to help those two is because I have Dan to cheer me up when I'm tired or down...you'd be surprised as to what a tap on thenose or talking to you as if you were a small child (for instance: Well Kim you see it is like this) when trying to make you smile can make you feel recharged. Yupe yup... ::sigh::

::floats up to Hammock in the rafters::

Man...I wish I could just do...something...

::falls asleep::

Mood: Analyze This
Song of Choice: "Real Emotion" by Koda Kumi Instrumental
Topic: Chobits
Days That Have Passed Since I sent Eric's Letter: 9 Weeks and 6 days
Days Until Spring Break: 9


Quote of the day: “I only feel like an angel who was sittng on cloud 9 playing my harp without a care in the world when all of a sudden my wings were ripped off sending me plummeting down to hell and the sulfurus abyss of pure misery.” ~Hideki (It was funny to me)


Hmm I just finished reading the first Chobits manga and haha I was right it was semi-porn but I couldn’t help but adore the concept. Now whenever I read something I like to kinda analyze it beyond any original intent.

But let me give you the run-down first. Hideki is a dude who is basically working to get into/ through college. While coming home from work he’s basically thinking ‘man I really want a Persom’ which is basically a computer shaped like a human. Functions as a word processor, spread sheetest, um book balancer, maid, you know that kinda deal. They come in from Laptop form which I kid you not is one of the freakin cutest things I have ever seen it’s about the size from your write to your tallest fingertip and it’s a person. And even PDAs which are like the size of your palm and come in people and bunny shapes.

Well anyway one day while going home from work he finds a Perscom. A girl Persom really thrown in the trash so he takes it home losing the important disk along the way and turns it on and what have you. Now this Persom number one is unbelievably affectionate…in a way she reminds me of myself really and she can only say the word “Chi” why I don’t know but eventually that becomes the perscom’s name. Eventually he figures out she’s not just any Perscom she’s special and goes to a dude his friend Shimbo recommend. The Computer Whiz Dude is 12 year old Minoru and he specializies in building perscoms I assume as a hobby kinda like the way we all go through layouts like there is tomorrow once we get inspired. In anycase Minoru tells Hideki that his Perscom is special and maybe a Chobit. A chobit is much like a Perscom but…in a way more human Artificial Intellegence the ability to learn and feel. But that assumption isn’t a certainty.

In anycase Minoru also tells Hideki that he is responsible for teaching Chi you know everything how to act in public and so forth and what have you…and Minoru also issues one very…thought triggering warning…No matter how cute and how human she may seem don’t fall in love with her.

I believe that’s the most important part for now. Now for the analyzing Like for instance…off the bat you see that persoms are flipping everywhere and then you see just how but a part of the world they are. I mean every one flipping has one!! But the interaction and the undertone is the really interesting part. For instance Shimbo Hideki’s friend has a laptop girl you know and by the way he talks to it and so forth you would swear it was his daughter. Also one of Hideki’s coworkers has a PDA that’s a bunny when Hideki asks why she doesn’t have a boy one she says that she use to but it made her really sad. Also what really triggered all this thinking was this one…utterly seemingly unimportant part—but then again—it’s all in the details right.

Hideki buys Chi a book as a gift a picture book called A City with No People. Now the picture book’s usage of pronouns completely threw me off and that’s why I read it 3 times to see from every angle what this was trying to say. The book is seemingly basically about a bunny. The bunny says there are no people in the town the lights are on but there are no people. So the bunny decides to look into one of the windows.” There are people, but they are with ‘them’” Literally says it like that. So the bunny is beboping about you know looking around and in each window the people are with “them”. The bunny states “This town is like all the rest. Being with “them” is fun more fun then being with people Nobody comes outside anymore. There are no people in this city I will leave this city and go to another. I hope that I will met someone. Someone just for me. But if that special someone falls in love with me…I will have to leave that someone. Even so, I want to meet with someone special. This is what I think as I leave the city with no people.” Now what the hell is the bunny saying? HMM??!! How can it have no people if it has people?

Conclusion1: The city lacks life…no one comes outside anymore they’re all inside my people. This picture book is a critic on life in the book and even life in the real work because haha literature, art, and music, is simply a mirror being held up to reality and magnifying the good and the bad. All the people are with there Perscoms you know and the bunny is like screw that! You know so it’s weird cause the bunny isn’t A them or a person.

Conclusion2: The bunny is a symbolic representation of Chi. Chi isn’t human—but she also may not be a Perscom if she’s a Chobit. The bunny speaks of love what’s bound to happen? Regardless of Minoru’s warning Hideki’s going to fall in love with Chi dollars to donuts my people it will happen I mean forbidden love and love that doesn’t really work is as big a part of the anime world as big eyes, stacked breasts, and cherry blossoms! Yeah so!

Conclusion3: Hideki falls in love with Chi you know after they kinda tell you a good part of her background and she learns some more you know…and they probably have a fight and well

Conclusion4: Chi runs off for whatever reason From there it’s anyone’s guess but mark my words I got most of the plot line from the first issue 182 pages and mind you from a freakin’ 3 page spread about a bunny from a picture book! All in the details Aww the beauty of knowing everyone does things for a reason and then finding where the reason is hiding…haha man I’m good J Just gotta know that you don’t randomly throw a portion of another book into your book with out good reason. Now if I’m wrong that will suck but I don’t think so and if anyone has a different opinion I’m all to hear about it. Or if someone knows how the series goes from here tell me I want to know how close I am.

Mood: Cranky
Song of Choice: "Heaven" by DJ Sammy
Topic: Male Female Interaction
Days That Have Passed Since I sent Eric's Letter: 9 Weeks and 3 days
Days Until Spring Break:12

There are certain things in this world that will forever piss me off…such as when a relative calls and the first thing they ask is do you have a boyfriend….my God. I mean to me there’s an undertone message there like I don’t know have you finally tricked a man into liking you or are you still ugly and haven’t gotten around to getting one or another way is are you a whore…I always take things like that badly. No how are you no how’s you’re mom first thing off the bat so do you have a boyfriend…is that suppose to be my quest in life?

Or like when my friends see me looking at a really handsome boy and they go ahh you like him you should go out with him. That’s not the way I work. I’ll look at a boy to look because beauty is beauty you know but that doesn’t mean I like them that just means I like the look about them. Most of the time they’re jerks. I mean just because I blush and get quiet around them doesn’t mean a thing I just don’t communicate well with pretty people.

And another thing while I’m on male female interaction. I hate it when my friends try and find me a guy or when I talk to one a lot and they try to get us to “go out” if I’m happy with the relationship of friendship what business is it of yours? Hmm? Well? Right then! I mean once in a while sure poke fun who doesn’t but everyday? I mean what is it that everyone thinks I can’t find a boyfriend? Man I mean grr I look at finding one like Bounty hunting I have to study him and know him not just go well he’s cute.

Man…if you haven’t guessed I’m talking about Dan…he’s the only nice guy I’ve met down here…sadly he isn’t one of those emotional people. You know like me I’m really playful you guys know that I like to hug and joke and what have you and well he’s kinda quiet and when I talked to him about you know his whole I’m not much for hugging people deal he’s like you got the wrong guy if you want someone to hold you. I left it at that you know…but still whatever you know. And if I was back in Columbus I’m more than a littler certain who I would hunt down…if only Peter loved me that way lol no no I’m joking but in anycase…HA I know who I would pick if I was back there :P

I guess this is all one long I could do it if I wanted to!!! Deal you know…now if only my parents were more understanding…the no boyfriend for you until you’re in college thing doesn’t help you know…Oh well…I guess this is one of those trivial trials I have to deal with…Blast this family of mine…and some of my friends!

Mood: Philosophical
Song of Choice: “Losing Grip” by Avril Laviene On TV Then thankfully I turn it off and turn on the Juliana Theory CD ahhh real music.
Topic: Visual Prejudgment
Days That Have Passed Since I sent Eric's Letter: 9 Weeks and 2 days
Days Until Spring Break:13

First off Good Luck to Peter and Jun they’re testing today I know they’ll do awesome and make us all proud!

Oh man I hate this chick right here(Avril)…with a Passion I mean lord. Like okay at first I was like wow look at that a girl that’s covered up…ahh look she dresses like a rocker THEN oh God her music reeks of pop music….it made me sad.

I mean I remember when she first came out everybody loved her and she was on every freakin teen magazine cover. Why? Because of the way she dressed? Was it because she seems to be that type of girl that every guy was scared to piss her off because she would kick his ass? So what? No no really come on. Like a million other girls across the US have been dressing that way from years you know. And millions of other girls have had that attitude for ages (Look at me J being a bitch long before Avril appeared on the scene.)But give credit where it's due I like this oen song...this one I can relate too and it has a good sound.

Another thing is that with any category of people labeling there go certain things. Now I hate being labeled because when you label someone you obviously don’t really know them but hell it’s going to happen you know…that’s just the way it is so I just accept it. Now take for instance your stereotypical stuff follow me on this. I’m making general observations no one take this too seriously this is just me thinking via type. These are just observations that I’ve made since coming here.

Let me pick an easy target: “Preps” (I know it’s a cheap shot) Okay…They’re the All American child you know…they have the look of it I guess I don’t know mind you some of them aren’t exactly the nicest or the most pure of what they look…you know appearances are deceiving but most of them are not all mentally there, there paths have been paved in Gold since the day they were born, and all that A&F AE stuff and they wouldn’t talk to the people reading this website unless their grade or their life depended on it…and even then they’d have to think about it.

NoW! Let’s look at the reverse of this the…um Anti Prep if you will. Um…take for instance the people who buy ALL their clothes from the Hot Topic—I don’t mean a couple of shirts or a few pants you know I mean everything I mean because hell what person doesn’t have at least one thing from the Hot Topic you know? I mean everything like even the underwear and socks can’t be from Wal-Mart. They are pretty much just like the preps except instead of A&F it’s Hot Topic they too would probably not talk to someone who didn’t look exactly like them. Are they being kinda Hypocritical? I mean if they’re like “aww Prep’s suck they’er always judging.” Aren’t they manifesting that which they stand against? Or perhaps it is just posing as what they think is cool?



Now what’s the point? Aren’t theses people worse than the preps? Follow me here. The general type of person that shops at the Hot Topic(Please generalizations this is just me making observations and thinking out load) would be from…the adult or other point of view someone such as a “Hip Hop” person…(yeah we got a lot of labels here )that is either 1)A “Goth” which to this day I don’t believe that someone should be called that just over appearance because I consider myself a Gothic Romantic thinker(see entry from like back in November or December) just like most of the people reading this but I don’t dress like a “Goth” I wear colors and such but I do enjoy black. 2) “Tortured and or Starving Artist or Musician“ or “Misunderstood” perhaps Depressed…I don’t know I hear that a lot when I wear a black shirt “Are you depressed?” “No I just happen to like the elegant color which is black besides I think I look cute in it. And no I’m not a Tortured Musician I’m a Artist Writer and Philosopher in fact ”(all that was a Joke) And my Favorite generalization 3) You worship Satan…I don’t get this because haha I wear like 2 crosses and know my Catholic Saints pretty well and the Our Lords Prayer (I think that’s what it’s called in English—I learned most of my stuff in Spanish) which is enough to get people to leave you alone on that one but sadly Jonnell gets that a lot(I think it’s because of a necklace a friend gave to her).

Now I’m not saying that you have to be any of these things to shop at the Hot Topic it’s just you know what people think…I like studying people and when I do I often contradict myself so yes her it comes…for a person to say be a cheerleader and shop at the Hot Topic…it would be like an anti-war activist wearing BDUs…it just doesn’t make sense. Just like a person wearing a band t-shirt and then they can’t name 2 songs by them. Like I said Hypocritical.

Now here’s the real point lol if I’m going to be labeled with some of these people (the “Goth” and “Hot Topic” people you know) for the love of God I want them to be intelligent please for the love of God! I mean because…even with the “Freak” Hierarchy here there are certain groups that don’t talk to the others. Like my group is pretty small Jonnell and Lisette and you know you have those friends that kinda branch out like Dan is my friend but he’s not in this particular group like I’m not in his group of Cedric, Ramon, and Tohren. But you know I hate being labeled with stupid people. I really do. Like there are some people I see every day that kinda dress like Lisette or Jonnell (hehe I’m poor I do the t-shirt and blue jean boots combo I like to think of it as…the Kim look kinda cloned from Sara Pezzini and Aya from PE lol Female Cop look tough gal) but they are very ditzy and I kinda shake my head and go…”God I share a stereotypical label with these people” and it would bother me so much if the teachers didn’t use it as like a guide as to say who hangs out with who you know.

Like my teachers can’t really guess lol because well Jonnell and Lisette kinda dress alike and Dan dresses like Dan and I talk to a cheerleader or two…just out of being pleasant and then Keisha always very covered up and then there’s other people because really I’ll talk to just bout anyone lol I’m a nice kid J but I mean teacher’s think you you hang with Lisette or Jonnell you must hang out with SO and SO (like say one of Jonnell’s friends that I’ve talked to like once) and then they go oh well So and SO is a stoner because he hangs out with so and so and so you must be too. I’m like…um I’m Kim…I don’t even know who you are talking about. Yeah Prejudgment is what this is about it happens a lot here it’s annoying.

I mean damn you know? Oh well that was long and drawn out. Lol I think that made no sense I just felt like writing about the High School Hierarchy. LoL because I think I started a Kou…a changing of rulers. I won’t get into it because I myself don’t understand it but Jonnell said I started a…trend of sorts me I don’t get it even after Jonnell explained it. I swear you talk about Posers and how whether your clothes are from the Hot Topic A&F or Wal Mart doesn’t really matter because they’re only for covering up and what matters it what you think and believe in…and according to Jonnell some people heard me and now have stoped purchasing things from Hot Topic…I myself am doubtful that it was my opinion and what I had to say because to those people I’m no one you know and that’s fine with me better to be truly solitary then to feel alone in a group you know? But I got my CHS people and a few people here so solitary perhaps isn’t the best term in general…apply that statement to classes then.

Yeah this made no sense right? Anyway if anyone thinks they understood that let me know and if you disagree with something I might have said but meant it one way but it came across another let me know too I’m always curious as to people’s opinions on anything negative or positive I like to know. I was just….um…making observations! I’ll take anyone’s opinion.

Mood :Tired
Song of Choice: "Real Emotion" by Koda Kumi
Topic: As of Late
Days That Have Passed Since I sent Eric's Letter: 8 Weeks and 5 days
Days Until Spring Break:17

Well yeah it's been a while huh? um yeah well see I spent the night at Lisettes on Saturday Evil Woman got me hooked on Final Fantasy X-2 she got me interested in it yupe. I mean dude Yuna's got guns there are no summons only costume changes and well she's looking for Tidus. Another thing that sparked my interst was that This is an all female Game you kinda have to play with Paine Rikku and Yuna. Also the Music videos are so cool YUNA MOVES LIKE AYUMI lol that's really what got me the j-pop like video with Yuna. Anyway it's only Tuesday and already my weekend is booked my goodness! I'm in a SNK vs Capcom Tournament. Only Female competitor!! I will kick Cedric and Tohren's Ass!! Those guys think they'll win because I'm a girl well no way! Ha I'm gonna go train a little


You are the Dark Magician!!! Very rare and
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Expressionless and wise, you are child genius Hoshino Ruri from the anime series Nadesico. You tend to be an observer than a participator; realistic rather than optomistic. You also see the world in a rather cynical sort of way. Its tough being a genius. Everywhere you go, you just see idiots. However, just because everyone around you happened to be a dimwit doesn't mean you can't have a little fun every now and then.

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